Boy oh boy, there is nothing that frosts my cupcakes like finding a product that works for me and staying loyal to it for years and years, only to have the Geniuses At Corporate decide--on a whim--to yank it out from under me with no warning whatsoever. Here is a brief sampling of specific items that have been capriciously and callously stolen from me:
1. Reynolds Plastic Wrap
2. Bath & Body Lavender Vanilla Body Spray
3. Flex Extra Body Shampoo
4. Fructis Body Boost Styling Gel
5. PurinaOne Healthy Weight Formula Cat Food
Allow me to bitch...er...elaborate:
1.Reynolds Plastic Wrap was the most brilliantly conceived product ever in the history of kitchen conveniences. This food wrap came in a box with a sliding cutter attachment, which completely rendered obsolete the treacherous and hazardous metal serrated cutting Edge Of Death. It also allowed you to avoid wrangling the plastic film, which automatically sticks to itself rather than the surface you are trying to cover. I actually emailed and called Reynolds, and begged them to find me a Secret Stash in a warehouse someplace in Area 51. They informed me that they had no more and had no plans to revive this product, for which there had been "insufficient sales overall." My heart is still broken.
2. Every single fragrance I have ever loved from this store has been discontinued. Every single one. Now, I know that they constantly add new ones and "retire" scents. But their Lavender Vanilla "Sleep" fragrance was an all-time fave that was almost immediately pulled as a body spray. It stuck around as a candle, lotion, and some idiotic thing called a "pillow spray," but within the space of several months was gonzo as a perfume. I wanted to smack someone. I don't like strong perfumes or ridiculously expensive colognes. What a racket. But so much for having a "signature scent." Mine is always discontinued.
3. Did you know that Flex is no longer? Me, either! Like many products, it simply disappeared. Rick used this shampoo for eleventy years, and it smelled wonderful and did great things for his hair. Tough shit. It's gone now, and forever.
4. Longtime Dept. readers know that My Hair is an epic battle/journey, and that I prefer to spend my money on shoes. I had finally found an inexpensive and reliable styling gel that was not sticky but gave my hair nice volume. About a month ago, I noticed that I was having trouble finding it. I began buying two or three tubes at a time. Now, it's nowhere, and I've discovered why. Fructis has gone all pseudo-natural and organic and is making hair gel with some tree sap. I'm screwed again. Can I go back to Pantene Volumizing Gel? No, I cannot because they no longer make THAT, either.
5. Piper's flabknot is an ongoing source of concern and mortification for me. Marlowe, less so, but I am having success with Purina's Healthy Weight formula. Both cattens are friskier and it has 15% fewer calories. The last time I went to buy some, I had to go to three stores to find it. This weekend, I went to SIX and none of them had it. Apparently, Purina is discontinuing it and I have to figure out something else. Those of you with pets know that you cannot just fill the bowl with a new food and move on. Especially with cats. And have any of you seen the price of pet food lately? It's all premium unless you just sling in an off-brand and call it a day. The cattens will, in effect, be eating prime rib and filet, so to speak. It's ridiculous.
Let me just say this: I am resentful and irked. Who the hell do these people think they are? Why did they not consult with Me first? Why can't stuff I like be left alone? Is that too much to ask? And I bet you've had things stolen out from under you as well. Go ahead; vent in Comments.